Just finished reading The Kabul Beauty School by Deborah Rodriguez. I was hooked from the start and had several long sessions of reading which is why I read it in a few days. I had previously read The Little Coffee Shop of Kabul (which is fiction) and enjoyed it but this was even more of an eye opener to life in Afghanistan, especially the plight of women. The book records Deborah's arrival in Afghanistan in 2002 with Care for all Foundation, a non-profit group. She later co-founds a training salon for hairdressing and beauty. For women the beauty salon is about the only place they can work (or are allowed to work) and the one place where men are not allowed.
Deborah records the ups and downs of funding and the trails of keeping the school going as well as everyday life in Kabul. In places it is a hard read hearing the stories of women who apply and train at the beauty school, the lives they have lived so far, the arranged marriages, abusive husbands and fathers, the poverty and living under the Taliban where only a few beauty salons operated under constant threat of being raided.
Some of the stories confirmed other things I have heard. I remember an elderly Muslim neighbour once asking me if I would witness a document for her. On the form one of the questions asked of her was whether she was present at the wedding. She scoffed and implied they were mad to ask but in fact it is quite possible for a marriage to take place without the bride being present. All the final arrangements are made by the bride and grooms fathers. A contract is signed between them after which the engagement part takes place. If the groom is from another county he may have to go back after the party in which case a consummation ceremony is held and this is where the mother waits outside the door for the white hankie or sheet with the blood of the girl to prove she was a virgin. This too I knew about as I was told by a Christian Iranian woman who I used to work with. What also shocked me was that the girls are not told by their mothers what to expect on their wedding night because their shock is also proof to the husband that the girl is naive and therefore a virgin.
Other shocking things were that a husband will insult his wife's father if he beats her at her father's house. Only the father can beat his daughter in his house - the husband if he wants to beat her has to take her home!
Debbie ends up marrying a man from Afghanistan - arranged by friends (he already has a wife and children). She comes across all sorts of cultural problems and also makes the mistake of touching her husband just after he has purified himself for prayer. He is angry because he has to start all over again.
However, Debbie does such great things for her students. After graduating they are able to open their own salons (she gives them all goodie bags with start-up items) and contribute to the family housekeeping. This is a great help as sometimes the men are out of work. Some girls are employed as teachers for the next intakes to the school. Basically these girls lives are improved and once inside the salon they can be themselves - they sing, they dance, they laugh.
Reading this books makes you want to pitch in and do something and it makes you realise how lucky women are in the west. There is another book due out in paperback this year called The House on Carnival Street which follows on from this book.
I have my next book ready to read but I am unable to start just yet. This one is still rolling around inside me. It leaves you with lots to think about.
Deborah records the ups and downs of funding and the trails of keeping the school going as well as everyday life in Kabul. In places it is a hard read hearing the stories of women who apply and train at the beauty school, the lives they have lived so far, the arranged marriages, abusive husbands and fathers, the poverty and living under the Taliban where only a few beauty salons operated under constant threat of being raided.
Some of the stories confirmed other things I have heard. I remember an elderly Muslim neighbour once asking me if I would witness a document for her. On the form one of the questions asked of her was whether she was present at the wedding. She scoffed and implied they were mad to ask but in fact it is quite possible for a marriage to take place without the bride being present. All the final arrangements are made by the bride and grooms fathers. A contract is signed between them after which the engagement part takes place. If the groom is from another county he may have to go back after the party in which case a consummation ceremony is held and this is where the mother waits outside the door for the white hankie or sheet with the blood of the girl to prove she was a virgin. This too I knew about as I was told by a Christian Iranian woman who I used to work with. What also shocked me was that the girls are not told by their mothers what to expect on their wedding night because their shock is also proof to the husband that the girl is naive and therefore a virgin.
Other shocking things were that a husband will insult his wife's father if he beats her at her father's house. Only the father can beat his daughter in his house - the husband if he wants to beat her has to take her home!
Debbie ends up marrying a man from Afghanistan - arranged by friends (he already has a wife and children). She comes across all sorts of cultural problems and also makes the mistake of touching her husband just after he has purified himself for prayer. He is angry because he has to start all over again.
However, Debbie does such great things for her students. After graduating they are able to open their own salons (she gives them all goodie bags with start-up items) and contribute to the family housekeeping. This is a great help as sometimes the men are out of work. Some girls are employed as teachers for the next intakes to the school. Basically these girls lives are improved and once inside the salon they can be themselves - they sing, they dance, they laugh.
Reading this books makes you want to pitch in and do something and it makes you realise how lucky women are in the west. There is another book due out in paperback this year called The House on Carnival Street which follows on from this book.
I have my next book ready to read but I am unable to start just yet. This one is still rolling around inside me. It leaves you with lots to think about.
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