A different kind of wedding

The groom (in the red hat) makes his entrance

On Saturday we went as a whole family (unheard of these days) to a wedding. The groom went to junior school with my eldest son and the family lived two doors down for many years. What made this wedding different is that it was a Hindu wedding, The family are Tamils. When the kids were young I used to take my boys and their boys out and one time the their mother came and we went off to Gosport to look over a submarine. It was a great day out. Their mum used to invite out boys in for special occasions and they'd come back with the most wonderful Indian sweets and once the mum came round with a special rice pudding she had made! Her kids were often here too and they all, along with some other boys in the street, played outside.

Our kids grew up, the little Tamil boys went off to Uni and a about two/three years ago they moved about a mile away. The boys are now both doctors and the eldest one married last year. They are such a nice family and I guess what made it unusual is the relationship we had. In our road there are few English people. They are mainly of Indian origin or Korean. They all tend to keep themselves to themselves but I've never been one to ignore other cultures. I always smile and a few do say hello but that's as far as it goes. Our neighbours were different and the mum admitted that those of her culture tend not to mix outside their own, which she said was a shame. I learned a lot from them and they learned a lot from us. We were open minded and chatted about all sorts of things.

They knew I liked some of their music and one day some years ago they took me a big event somewhere in Wembley. Their boys were part of a drumming display. I was virtually the only white person there! But I loved the music and dancing and everyone accepted me.

The wedding was in a centre over Potters Bar way and in grounds is a Jain Temple which we urged to visit while there. We did. after the ceremony and food. Inside (we had to take our shoes off) was all marble. A few people were praying and there was a bell people rang. It was a first for me to go inside a Jain Temple.

The wedding itself was a learning curve (another first). The ceremony lasted about three to three and a half hours. The groom arrives first with his family and a male attendant (sort of our equivalent to a best man) and for half an hour there are rituals. Then the bride arrives (she wore a white veil) with her family and female attendant (perhaps like a chief bridesmaid) and the same rituals are gone through with her. A sari is finally exchanged and she then goes off to change into it. When she returns the final part of the ceremony takes place with all sorts of ritual and customs. I should say that all the while this going on there is music and people are wandering around, food and drink is being offered to guests. Basically it is a huge social occasion. There is a sort of feel about it that it is stage managed with official photographers non-stop clicking away at every part of the ceremony, so much so that they often blocked out the view. However, it was all relayed onto large screen so you see it all.

Some rituals (left is my friend, the groom's mother & her husband)
Picture taken off the screen!

The bride arrives

At the end guests were invited to come up on stage and offer their blessings to the bridge and groom,. The queue was so long that it was suggested that some people go and eat first and come back. This is what we did. Eldest son and I were in our element as all the food was was completely vegetarian. We had virtually everything going! It was delicious. The couple on our table were nice and we swapped information on how we all knew the couple and the lady was impressed that we all liked the food. She said she had some Scottish nephews who struggle with it and their ears go red! I said we loved the food. Then the lady offered to take a photo of us all together as  family. I can't remember when that last happened.

Eldest (techie) son, sporty son, me and the hubs

We went back upstairs and the queue was a lot smaller. There was a DJ playing something like Bollywood music. I was doing little body movements and my eldest just said 'Oh no.' Yes, Mum was going to show them up again! We took off our shoes and went on stage to offer our blessings and as we left we were each given a box with a sweet inside. Underneath the sweet was a label with the couples name and the date of the wedding.

The sweet box

It was certainly something different to experience and nice to see that little boy I remembered marry. Everyone looked splendid in their saris and some of them dressed up too. I love all that!

The Jain Temple and gardens